I have to say that this title makes me sound a lot more mature and “old” than I really am. I am an adult by age but by no means am I qualified as a full grown up. There are times (a lot of times) I make mistakes I shouldn’t make, where I can’t hold temper, where I get called childish… But as time goes on, apart from the physical changes, I realize many things that I was told are actually true and they finally make sense, and things that I appreciate more now than ever. I don’t know why I wanted to grow up, I don’t know why I wanted to graduate, because being an adult in many ways sucks (see, this is me being childish.) Let’s just jump right in and see what has happened to me in this process.
- You notice more wrinkles and freckles on your face rather than pimples.
Well, this is basic. I think I was 19 when I noticed my first fine line underneath my right eye and I told me dad about it, and he said, “don’t worry, it’ll only get worse.” Thanks, dad. I still remember when I could make faces and not having to worry about the fine lines on my face or around my eyes. Now I laugh and get what’s called “nasolabial folds” (the laugh lines you (I) get next to your (my) mouth when you (I) laugh.)I still get pimples sometimes, but I also have freckles all the time.
- You “want” to workout more.
It’s not like I actually workout everyday. But I definitely want to or at least think about working out more now. I used to go to the gym a lot in college, mostly because I wanted to be in shape. Now I want to workout because I feel the need to. I’m not as healthy and energetic; my metabolism is slow as hell. I even started doing some home and before bed exercise.
- You talk about pooping with your friends.
Not entirely sure if I should get into this topic. In general, my friends and I talk about health and how to maintain a healthy body a lot more often now. Let’s just have a little example.
Me: I haven’t pooped today. (crying face)
Friend: Same! I’ve been eating a lot of veggies lately but I’m still not able to go everyday.
Me: Have you heard of [xxx detox]? I wanna give it a try.
- People around you start getting married and having kids. On purpose.
I’m not saying unplanned kids are unwanted, absolutely not. I have seen a lot of unplanned kids and their parents still love them to the max. But seriously, who’s NOT getting married? I was a bridesmaid of one of my best friends back over a year ago, and I was the oldest girl there that wasn’t married. Say what? FML.
- When the new celebrities are your age.
I used to tease my dad about him messing up all the singers and actors; I really shouldn’t have. Now I turn the TV on and like, did this band just come out this year? No, they were new two years ago. And they are your age. K. I need to keep up.
- You are not the youngest in your office.
Wait till the day you hear someone calls, “kiddo.” And you turn around just to realize they aren’t calling you. I mean, it’s okay you’re not the youngest, but you’re still doing the same duties and you make stupid mistakes and you’re ashamed and afraid at the same time. Is this even “growing up”? I can’t tell.
- You receive multiple bills a month.
Do I really need to explain this?
- You experience goodbyes. sickness and deaths.
I have never really been able to handle goodbyes very well. Either just a relationship goodbye or an actual goodbye when someone passes away. Fortunately I never really had to deal with deaths and funerals at a young age. I used to tell people all my grandparents were happily alive. Then all of a sudden people around me, either close or not close, got sick, and some died. And I was just there like, what? No? Why? Life is so fragile, you never know what’s gonna happen next. I am a person who needs to know what’s going on. I can watch the same movie over and over again, not because I love it, but I like the feeling of knowing what happens next. But life keeps telling me, no, you can’t always control everything. Even without the goodbyes you still can’t. Because that IS life. Suck it up.
- You figure you don’t know a lot of things.
I used to want to be a very knowledgable and intelligent person. Of course I still do. But in real life, there are many people that are more knowledgable and intelligent, they have keen observations, clear thoughts and (seem to) always make the right decisions. The world is so big, you will never learn everything nor will you be the smartest person. But you can keep learning and be the best of yourself. This is one very big lesson I am learning everyday. Be humble.
- You appreciate family a lot more now.
It’s not like I didn’t appreciate my family, I love them, always have. But now I’d think about my parents and get teared up a little. I realize even my little sister is more dependable than anyone. The love and care I receive from my family is unconditional and everlasting. I want to spend quality time with my family and I’m not too cool for family day anymore.
I feel so worried and scared as I make this list. It feels like I’m going through a lot but am still so green and immature. It feels like I’m trying so hard and not getting anywhere. Maybe this is a part of “growing up”? I’m not sure. Some people have been popping into my head. We met when we were young, we made mistakes together. And even though you’re not reading this right now, I wish we could have grown together, I genuinely hope life has been treating you well and that you stay true to yourself and keep your awesomeness as you grow. I miss you.